The view from my window...

Is, okay, not the greatest...
That is to say, it's been dreary all day, not a lick of sunshine, and I haven't seen the football team for at least a week...sadness!! Haha...
But seriously...
I was up until...whenever it was...the other day...and I was writing something (probably not the paper I was supposed to be working on), and I happened to glance toward the window...
And made a frantic search for my camera while trying not to wake up my roommate next door...

God's kind of awesome, isn't he?

Hope you're all enjoying life...
Lord knows I'm trying...

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

So I had this idea to list all the things I'd do over if I had the chance...
But then it occurred to me...
A) It might be a tad melancholy, and what was my last post? Variety is needed, please!
B) It's kind of dumb to dwell on the past, since even if I want a do-over, I obviously can't, right?
So instead, I'm taking the word of a lovely woman I've never met, and going to figure out what I want to do in the future...
Ahem.
(And since I kind of like the organization of lists...)
In no particular order...
1. I would like to write to my grandma Hazel more often, as well as my Aunt Myra, my brother Jay, and my friend Beau. Even if they don't write back.
2. My writing needs improving, not just for fiction fun, but for real reports (hmm, nice alliteration maybe? haha), and so I want to perfect my skills, and maybe rewrite everything...well, not necessarily everything, of course, I'm not setting impossible goals. Just see if there are some select pieces that I feel I can improve, and share with the world (or whoever's listening at the moment).
3. I'm giving up Oreos. Wow, I know. I just finished a package a minute ago, and it's occurred to me how much money I'd have if I never bought them...it also makes me wonder just how many Oreos I've had in my lifetime...can I count that high?
4. On the subject of money, I think, at least while here in Montana, I should start buying 2% milk instead of whole, because unlike at home, it's about a dollar more expensive. And just because I'm picky. Tsk, tsk...
5. I'm going to study math like hard-core this summer so I can test out of it for next term. This is an absolute must!!
6. I'm going to slowly change out my wardrobe. I have a lot of juvenile dumb things, and there's a certain image I'd like to portray, and I can't quite pull it off when I look like a twelve-year-old. Not to say there won't still be the crazy Emma we all know and love...I've been practicing different hairstyles =] but otherwise, I'm going to be setting aside money for maybe one or two new pieces a month.
7. No matter whether it's a lightning bolt of just a subtle interest, I'm going to find a church in Billings and go to it every week. And this summer when I've got that job in Yellowstone, I'm going to go to church as well, even if I have to go Catholic. I need someone smarter than me teaching me this stuff...
8. I'm going to start running again. I've done it a little bit this semester, but nothing hardcore, and I need to feel like I'm getting in shape. Plus, it's a great time to gather my thoughts, and I can have pretty good conversations with God while I'm at it, also.
9. Speaking of God, I really want to study what kind of woman he wants me to be, like in Proverbs, or like the Mary's of the New Testament (mother of Jesus, Martha's sister, Magdalene), or Ruth and Esther, two of my favorites. I kind of have this feeling, the closer I get to the 'ideal' the closer I'll get to God, and the better I'll be for the one He's got for me.
10. I've been writing a song for piano, and I'd really like to get that finished. I don't know how much time over the summer I'll have to play, or if there's even a piano at my disposal, but I really want to finish something I've started, and this is a project I can see an end to.
11. I'd also like to get better at the bass guitar...but I'll put that on hold since I brought it with me to school and only found time to play it once...
So maybe I should have stopped at ten?
There are other things, but there's nothing wrong with starting small, isn't it?
Small or large, though, it's time to break out of this slump...
Don't wish me luck, just pray, okay?

Loser Gone Wild
...but in evening when the sun goes down
Crawl from the shadows gotta get into town
Where the music is playing all across the night
And every cloud disappears from sight...

Intro in the Middle

Hello, my name is Emma, I'm probably not as old as my profile says I am (if it says at all), and I'm a college student. I live in a suite-style dorm, so I get my own room, and I definitely need it, because I am a M-E-S-S. Laundry and dishes are surprisingly calming...but I rarely have time to calm down, so they don't get done. I listen to all sorts of music, and I sometimes wonder where it all came from, but I just keep rockin' through, whether it's funk, pop, trance, classic rock, piano or electric guitar. I'm learning how to knit and am making a scarf for one of my best friends (even though it's getting warmer), and I've decided knitting is a very logical activity. This goes there and does that and if you mess this up you can always fix it with that. I've been wearing a lot of dresses and skirts lately, mostly due to the warm weather, though my usual 'uniform' is jeans and a t-shirt. I'm supposed to be on a budget, but the other day I cheated and bought some cookies, because I've got serious cravings for sugar like all the time. I write for the school newspaper but not always very well; in fact the next issue is sure to be severely lacking, and that makes me sad, but I can't find the time to make it awesome, what with classes ending in a mere two weeks. I draw, mostly video game characters, because if I try to do something off the top of my head, it's flat and boring. My car, a beat-up Blazer I call Sylvie, is probably on her last legs, and I plan on driving over three thousand miles this summer, so I'm thinking I should get a tune-up or something before I do. I have two 8x10 pictures of my ex-boyfriends for comparisons and so I can psychoanalyze my choices, but I tend to forget they exist and just leave them in the folder they came in, making me wonder why I bothered in the first place. I love the color red but will surprisingly be found to wear a lot more black or blue, perhaps because those fade into the background easier. Despite the urge to fade, I will be found wearing clothes that reveal one or both of my tattoos in the hopes that someone will stop me and ask about them. Even though I'm not superstitious, I practice like I am, and will follow patterns said to make things work out. I don't step on cracks, and if I do, it's an accident, and you'll see me wince every time. I have big dreams, out-of-this-world goals, and I don't see them ever being accomplished because I'm more lazy than anything else. Drinking tea keeps me sane while at the same time reminding me of home, so I get melancholy. I'm allergic to amoxicillin, which makes me wonder what would happen if I took penicillin. I'm nearly blind without my glasses, and my eyes get worse as I age; I figure I'll be blind by the time I'm thirty. But that's okay, because I've discovered I can play almost anything on the piano with my eyes shut, and I've got a good ear for mistakes. I don't go to church, not because I don't believe, but because I can't find one I like. Sometimes I will listen to sermons from home online, but I don't think of it too often. I've been told I should try out for the school plays, but I'm not sure I'll have time next year, however it's an intriguing idea, and since it was the theatre teacher that told me so, I'm thinking I may have a shot. I like to write short stories, and longer ones without endings, and I used to think that you just sent in your manuscript and someone would buy it, but apparently you have to pay for the production yourself; therefore I will never be published, at least nowhere but on the great wide world we call the internet. And the school paper, I suppose I can't forget that. My big thing right now is to be 'a man of my word,' which is harder than it sounds. I'm practically incapable, mostly because the truth is embarrassing, and so I'd rather not say anything...but a lie of omission is still a lie, isn't it? On that subject, the real reason I decided to go back to school is because I want to get married. I don't want an education. I don't want a degree. I don't want a career. I want a family. And when I prayed about it, God told me he was here in Montana, so here I am. It's nice that God talks to me, but sometimes I wish that He would be a little clearer, and help me figure out how to do things without going through all these hoops. It's funny, though, because I have a feeling that I won't be here for very long, so I wonder what I was thinking going along with it in the first place...only when God says go, you're supposed to go, right? I'm struggling with a lot of things right now, and I'm very grateful that the semester is almost over so I can go home. And I'm also grateful for the summer job I have with two of my very good friends out at a resort in Yellowstone. I know it's going to be a wonderful experience, and hopefully I can save my money and pay for some of my schooling myself. And I pray that I can find a job next semester as well, so I can pay back my Mom for the school-books she paid for this time around, as well as the food and gas it took to get out here, and my insurance...yikes. And also to pay back my grandparents, since I really do need their help, but I'm not worthy, so it's more like I'll be asking for a loan, because I'm not good enough to just get a free ride. I don't know what I'll live off of next semester if I do that, but I'm sure I'll survive, and even as skinny as I am, I can still lose ten pounds that I've gained this time around, so it'll be okay I think...I hope. And I think, considering the mess that is my room and my life and such, that I'm going to just throw everything I own out the window...that is to say, I'm getting rid of everything but clothes, my laptop and school books. I can't do anything else, and I don't need it either.
Hmmm...
This isn't quite the tone I was going for.
I apologize for spilling it all out on you.
I would keep it to my diary, only I need to fool myself into believing that someone else is listening.
Thank you for that.

Enjoy life...

What I am...

"You're eccentric, not insane. You'd have to be normal to be insane."

Thank you, Michael...
(For the record, that sounds like a compliment and an insult in one!)

What I am, actually, is flattered...
I was proposed to tonight.
Now don't freak out, it wasn't for real.
(Or I don't think so.)
And I'm not even sure how we got on the conversation.
All of a sudden, JM turns to me and asks, "Emma, would you do my the honor of becoming my beloved wife?"
Wow...
Laughter...
Pause...
Then "What do you believe?"
Pause on his part, as well as his friends, before "That's a very deep question."
"Well, you're looking to get into a very deep relationship."
"Good point..."
Funny, but he actually expected a serious answer from me, despite the joking atmosphere. And after a few questions, to which he gave the surprisingly correct answers to, I did decline, saying that we'd have to go on a few dates before he got to that point. More in his favor, his took the rejection honorably, and even helped me to stand from out sitting area on the floor, and took his friends' teasing quite well I thought...
Alas, he's younger, and a video-gamer, and just not my type...
But it was flattering, as I said.
And he's so adorable...
I'm gonna love teasing him this week... =]

Life is fun, sometimes...I can't wait to see what it brings me next...

Neighbors should treat each other nice...

So I have a friend that started a blog recently, and it's more like she writes story bits and stuff, but anyway, she's convinced that no one but me is reading what she has to say!! I told her that couldn't possibly be true and that there's probably some weird guy that discovered her via this great thing called internet, and that he's probably told all his weird friends...and the cycle goes on. However, she would feel much more confident if she knew there were some sane (or at least not that kind of weird, haha) people reading it as well, so I told her I'd tell all of you...
And she thanks you very much for your support. =]
If you say so, I'm not a girl...
She's actually kinda cool, I wanna steal her ideas haha, and she reminds me of...me.
That is to say, she also likes butterflies, and uses the word 'whatever' way too much.
(though I think I've been better on that lately, don't you?)
Anyway, give her a read, give her a shout, and she'll probably thank me by buying me ice cream or something...

Enjoy life... =]

Sweet Dreams...

So I was extraordinarily tired yesterday...
Why?
Because I got up with the alarm...
And stayed up.
Doesn't happen these days, no clue why, I'm just a bad kid, I guess...
ANYWAY...
So I noticed then, that every time I stopped focusing, I'd find myself almost falling off my chair.
Not good, right?
Especially in the middle of the dining room...
So I got back to my room after dinner, then, and I was trying to work on my homework, and even to catch up on some internet stuff, but it just wasn't working; my interest was such that I felt myself fading in and out, and though I've fallen asleep in my desk chair before, it's not a comfortable experience!! So I really wasn't looking forward to a repeat...and instead I decided to take my friends' advice and just get some sleep. I figured a small nap or something, considering it's only 6:30, so I stripped off my shirt and climbed under the covers and sank...
Quite lovely, really.
And then, the next time I open my eyes, it's light out.
Did I sleep for an hour?
Twenty minutes?
Not at all...
I slept for twelve hours...
Oh joy...
There goes my homework plans, huh?
But I feel refreshed, and I'm hoping today's going to be an awesome day...

My sister, the Genius...

So you may or may not know, my sister Jessie does a lot of digital scrap-booking (you can see her stuff here) and I was thinking I love it, but also thinking I'm too lazy and untalented to do it myself, so I asked, sent a few ideas, and voila...

This is so totally me!! Haha, I knew it was a good one to send...
And also, we have...

Ah, the joy of the masquerade ball...(and yes, I had a mask, but I wasn't wearing it at this point!)...

Jessie, you rock my world, I love you, thank you so much!!!

I lied...

Even if you don't like my work, I'm going to keep writing...
We clear on that?
Good...

So...
Here's my take on a classic, haha...

A boy and a girl sat down for lunch. They were friends, but no more than that; they'd known each other since they were in kindergarten, and had a very easy rapport with one another. Today, however, the girl was suspiciously silent, and finally the boy had to ask what was wrong. The girl only smiled and shook her head. He couldn't fix her problem, she told him. Why not? he demanded...
He took her words as a challenge, and pushed his lunch aside to focus on her. He was up for anything, he boasted, and could fix her problem in a flash. Though doubtful, she nodded and began to explain. She'd fallen in love with an old friend, but didn't know how to broach the subject with him. Well, that's easy, he scoffed, and began listing ideas she could use, but she shook her head...
The problem was, she said, that she knew for sure he didn't feel the same way, so it was better if she just let her feelings take a backseat to their friendship. The boy grew angry and scowled. He would show that dumb guy, he said. How stupid could he be not to love her? You don't love me, she pointed out with a small smile, and he frowned. Of course I do, he said...
Did she really think he'd eat lunch with her every day if he didn't? She laughed and shook her head in disbelief, but couldn't help her response. I love you too. Right, he nodded, so if you can tell me, why can't you tell him? Her smile grew more pronounced and she replied, I just did...

Now that, I admit is not quite original.
But it's well-written either way, and if I can do that on the fly, then the stuff I really try for is all the better, right?
So please, support me...
And if you're nice, I might even dedicate something to you!! =]

Love you all, hope life's treating you right...

Am I unoriginal?

Please tell me that up-front.
If it turns out to be true...
I'll stop writing.
No more stories...
No more poems...
No more lyrics...
No more songs...
I'll just quit right here and now.
I don't want to burden you with my 'unoriginal' thoughts...

Brownies in the Mail...

Everyone loves to get mail...
And I'm a strange one that even likes junk mail or bills...
Because it shows someone cares enough to put my name on an envelope!! =]
But it's really awesome, when you open a package...
And there's CHOCOLATE...
Definitely worth leaving the room for that, haha...

So...
What's going on here?
Um...

It's crunch time, I guess...
There's one month left of school...
And Mom said if I don't do well, I'm not coming back...
(I beg to differ, Mom!! Not gonna stay home even if you make me!!)
So there are papers to write...
Projects to wrap up...
Priorities to rearrange...
Sigh...
And lots of headaches, of course.

But as long as I get breakfast, I'm usually okay... =]

In other news...
If you're bored...
If you have time...
If you feel like something new...
A few suggestions...

"Piano no Mori"
(Literally 'Piano of the Forest' or 'Forest Piano')
It's full of classical music, which is rockin' awesome, and it's in Japanese, which is ALSO awesome...rather switched on, actually. And the story-line is decent, it's not crude, rude or unacceptable, it's not even a romantic plot-line, just a story about two friends playing piano, and how they approach it. If I was a critic, I'd give it five out of five stars, and even the lame scenes just aren't that lame...so look it up, on YouTube or wherever, or maybe even just splurge and buy the thing!! Oh, and you can read the manga version on MangaFox as well, if you so desire.

Mario Paint Composer
It's Mario. It's music. What more do you need? And okay, so it's not like you can make a masterpiece off the bat, it's actually a little bit difficult, but it's fun, it's awesome, and, well, if you find yourself wanting to give up...go ahead. Some of us are composers, some of us are just a kid sitting in the back row of the audience...but make sure you look it up on YouTube so you can see how awesome it can be.

Fritz Lang's Metropolis
So in this world of fast-action flicks and out-of-this-world special effects, sometimes it's nice to sit back and watch a classic. And considering it was made before even my grandparents were born, 'classic' is the word we're looking for. It's German Expressionism to the max, and while sets might be cheesy and acting is sub-par, it's a great look at how film-making began, and it's a pretty cool view of what society could be.

Mafia Wars
Okay, I know, why waste my time? But it's actually highly addictive, and I kind of like the feel of being 'Don'. Money rolls in, you've got an entire 'Family' at your disposal, and if you get hurt, well, it only takes a click of a mouse for the doctor to make a personal visit and you're back on your feet. Plus, it's simple, and doesn't take too much effort to do well, so you really can't lose, and hey, winning is good, right? Of course, I know for some, even a click of a mouse is too much effort...but if you still want your mafia fix, try these awesome flicks: The Godfather, Mickey Blue Eyes, Oscar, Goodfellas, My Cousin Vinny, The Untouchables...and there's more where that came from.

That's all I got for now, the sun in shining through my window, which I think means I need to start getting ready for the day, so I'll sign off...
Hope all's well with the rest of you!!

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