Black is the new Black...and Red is just awful...

I seem to be having a clothing issue...
Every time I try to find something with color in it to wear, I remember: I work today, and black is the only thing I can guarantee goes with my workshirt. So, I wear black...every...single...day...
I'm getting tired of it...
But I can't afford any new clothes...
And I'll be the first to admit I'm too lazy to dig to the bottom of the dresser to find the rainbow...
So today, I wore a pink ribbon in my hair to offset the lack of color.
I looked so adorable!!

But then some lady came into the shop and complimented me on how the pink, oddly enough, goes really well with my red hair.

When did I become a redhead??
Now, I have nothing against redheads.
I have some friends of that particular set, and they're very awesome people.
But I don't want to BE a redhead.
The closest I get to red is when I dye my hair purple, and that's not supposed to be permanent. But somehow, it's gotten into everyone's head that my hair is naturally red.
IT'S NOT!!
I'm a natural blonde.
A dishwater blonde, true, but blonde nonetheless.
Not strawberry.
Not honey.
Not golden.
Not orange.
BLONDE.
Why is it, then, that every time I try to go natural I end up red?
Now, I can understand if I'm buying some cheap stuff from WalMart that the colors might not like my hair, especially considering I'm always going from dark to light, so avoiding a little red is touch and go.
But when I walk into a salon and ask them to match my roots --which are at least half an inch shown!-- how is it they think I should be auburn? Or strawberry-ish? I'll admit it has it's moments...but when it grows more, you can clearly see...
I AM NOT A REDHEAD!!!

I made an appointment with the salon on Main Street for about two weeks from now.
I specifically told the lady, when I made the appointment, I don't want to be a redhead.
I'll repeat myself when the deed's being done.
But if she can't make me a natural, dishwater blonde...

I'm shaving my head and buying a wig.

NOT KIDDING



Does anyone else have this much trouble with hair or am I just being way too dramatic??

So, it's been awhile...
Things are going well, I suppose. I enjoy work, I enjoy Bible study, I especially enjoy having a week Mom-free...that is, until I have a nightmare and she's not there to help me.
That's where things AREN'T going well.
I still have nightmares.
EVERY
SINGLE
NIGHT
I dread sleeping.
Because when I'm awake, I can do so much, and put a smile on, and find that there are good things in life, and even if I'm bored, I'm okay, cuz God has plans bigger than I know.
Then I sleep, and, as I said earlier, it all goes downhill...

I thought sleep was supposed to be restful...
I think I have a demon sleeping with me.

This is one of my new favorites...

"The Motions" by Matthew West

'This might hurt
It's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care
If I break
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets
Not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something

Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way'

I almost feel like he wrote that for me...
The whole 'At least I'd be feeling something' really hits home...
And, whether for God or for the world, I really feel like lately I've just been going through the motions...
I like where I'm at.
But I want something different.
I need something different.
Cuz I'm slowly going insane...
I need to get away, I think...

Any ideas where I should go?