So, it's been awhile...
Things are going well, I suppose. I enjoy work, I enjoy Bible study, I especially enjoy having a week Mom-free...that is, until I have a nightmare and she's not there to help me.
That's where things AREN'T going well.
I still have nightmares.
EVERY
SINGLE
NIGHT
I dread sleeping.
Because when I'm awake, I can do so much, and put a smile on, and find that there are good things in life, and even if I'm bored, I'm okay, cuz God has plans bigger than I know.
Then I sleep, and, as I said earlier, it all goes downhill...

I thought sleep was supposed to be restful...
I think I have a demon sleeping with me.

This is one of my new favorites...

"The Motions" by Matthew West

'This might hurt
It's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care
If I break
At least I'll be feeling something
'Cause just ok
Is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don't wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything?
Instead of going through the motions

No regrets
Not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love
Make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something

Take me all the way
Take me all the way
Take me all the way'

I almost feel like he wrote that for me...
The whole 'At least I'd be feeling something' really hits home...
And, whether for God or for the world, I really feel like lately I've just been going through the motions...
I like where I'm at.
But I want something different.
I need something different.
Cuz I'm slowly going insane...
I need to get away, I think...

Any ideas where I should go?