Response to Jessie's Air Show

Went to the 'Back to the '50's' car show at the state fairgrounds this weekend...
Both a joy and a disappointment...
Lots of things seem that way lately...
BUT!!
My pictures are kinda cool, so here goes...

In case you're wondering...

I'm so totally okay with everything.
The weight is gone.
I don't feel like crying.
And I kinda feel at peace...
Think this is the right direction.

Love you all...

Just a little Freak-Out...

Seriously.
I stopped crying.
And it only lasted for about a minute or two...
Though, okay, so I'm still thinking about it...

Alright, here's what's going through my head right now.

Yesterday, James came over. Not to see me, though he did, of course, and we chatted a little, but no, he came to see my Mom. See, he got this new job selling knives --salesman? whoa-- and he's been at it a little under two weeks and wanted to give his spiel to Mom to practice, and to my surprise, he's good at it, he's funny, engaging, whatever...they're good knives, too, and it's cool the things you can do with them. There's also a pair of shears that can cut through ANYTHING! To prove it, he cut a penny.
How cool is that?
Of course, he hadn't done that one when I was in the room, cuz I was doing other things, but when I came back in, I admired it, and, since Mom was out of the room taking care of the baby for a moment or something, he took time to show me a trick as well...
He made a flower out of the penny and gave it to me.
And HELLO, what does that mean?
He's never given me a flower before, not while we were dating, and now this?
And he seems happy to see me, which is nice, but I'm confused anyway.
And a little scared too...
Wanna know a secret?
I haven't dreamed of him in two weeks.
And months of nightmares, I've gone back to my normal dreaming habits.
And I'm glad, though a little bit wondering what made it stop, but this is good, it's nice to finally get over someone after...six months?
But then he comes over and confuses me...
And we have last night...
(Insert curse word here!)
And, okay, I know he's not good for me and all, and I've gone over all the reasons in my head, but a girl gets lonely and likes to be admired and starts thinking...
STOP THINKING!!
Wanna know why?
This morning I go on my Facebook account, and big and bold on the side column, guess what's new?
James is in a relationship.
Okay.
Just breathe.
I don't need to freak out.
I mean, I've been telling myself all the reasons why we shouldn't get back together anyway, so it's okay, right?
Right...
But what was with giving me a flower?
The jerk really is a nice guy, I guess...
Whatever, so I'm okay, just a little stunned, thrown for a loop.
But I'm reacting way better than I did when I found out the priest had a girlfriend, so I think this is okay...it's okay...
Say a prayer just in case my brain decides it's not?

Hope all's well with you...

More than wow...

You find the craziest things at a quarter to one in the morning...

Happy Birthday Guitar Cover - The Click Five

Dates4Dorks

Hallelujah

Tyler's Amazing Oreo Trick

Guitar: Backwards

Foothill Freshman Cheerleading Performance '08

If you're as bored as I am, check it out :)

"Summer Again" / "MySpace Girl"

I'm watching the green give into gold
As summer becomes October's cold
Gravity begs
For one final kiss
She drops it to him, as she gives in

Traces of light, linger around
As laces of white fall to the ground
The softest of sounds for the heaviest things
And the pain that it brings

As she falls I try to catch her
For one last touch of warmth from summer
As one thing leaves to becomes another again
I remember when

Don't remember the day, she started to fade
The ground felt a chill as she gave it away
A whisper - a sigh, for the time that she passed
But this winter won't last

As she falls I try to catch her
For one last touch of warmth from summer
As one thing leaves to becomes another again
I remember when
Oh to be with summer again

The days were warm and we wore them like skin
Now I feel the effects of October again

As she falls I try to catch her
For one last touch of warmth from summer
As one thing leaves to becomes another again
I remember when
Oh to be with summer again

I'm watching the green give in to gold
As summer becomes Octobers cold

This song is so not appropriate for June, despite the title...
However...
I'm kinda feeling like this.
Things seem to be falling from my grasp, even as other things fall into place...

So all applications (except one!) have been sent in, FINALLY, after much procrastination and such, and SAT scores will be sent out as soon as they're available --JUNE 25TH-- and here's where we're at...
University of Montana Western
Ursinus College
Clemson University
Rocky Mountain College
North Greenville University
Northwestern College
...and I think that's all?
Maybe one more, my brain seems to think so even while being unable to come up with a name...
I'm really crushin' on the third and fifth option, think the second is probably the perfect school, the fourth is cool mostly because the front cover of the brochure is green, the first just seems so...experiencial? is that a word? idk...and the sixth I'll settle for if none of the above say yes.
LET THEM SAY YES!!!

This is the type of happily ever after I'm lookin for, I think...
But I've got time...

I saw you once, it was enough
You asked me what I wanted, I want you
But I replied, I'll have some fries
So mesmerized, my heart was over driving through

I saw your name and unashamed
I searched within 500 miles to find
Any clue just as to who I've fallen for
Cause you've got me and I've got time

I saw your picture on Myspace
Maybe someday we can turn it into ourspace baby
I don't care how long it takes
I'm saving space in my top 8 for you

The second time you were so nice
I loved the way told me to enjoy my day
But I know what you meant to say instead
Was really that you wanted us to run away

I said let's go, I'll pack my clothes
Just promise me you'll wear that purple dress you have
You look so cute when you're confused
You backed away and asked me how I new about that

I know you're scared
I know our love is crazy
And I'm so crazy
You make me crazy
For you

"Summer Again" and "MySpace Girl" courtesy of The Afters, from their album "NEVER GOING BACK TO OK"

(Which I'm not, I think...)

And one more melancholy-type song for the road...

"Happy Birthday" by The Click Five

Hey you
I know I'm in the wrong
Time flies
When you're having fun
You wake up
Another year is gone
You're twenty-one

I guess you wanna know
Why I'm on the phone
It's been a day or so
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday

Yeah yeah whoa oh
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday

So hard
When you're far away
It's lame but I forgot the date
I won't make the same mistake
I'm so to blame

Now you know
Don't hang up the phone
I wish I was at home
I know it's way too late
But happy birthday

Yeah yeah whoa oh
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday

It's not that I don't care
You know I'll make it up to you
If I could I'd be there

Yeah yeah whoa oh
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday

Yeah yeah whoa oh
I know you hate me
Yeah yeah whoa oh
Well I miss you too
Yeah yeah I know
I know it's kinda late
But happy birthday
To you

C317

Noise.
I never expected so much, especially not at high school, on a Saturday morning, after graduation and the last day of school.
But there you have it.
Noise.
LOTS of noise.
So much that I wonder if perhaps I should take myself out of the middle of this crowd of children and move to the outskirts...but that would be cowardly.
I'm not afraid of crowds.
I'm not afraid of noise.
And I'm certainly not afraid to take a little test...

It gets quieter.
Children are going to their assigned classrooms, and, because this school is HUGE and SCARY and I feel like I might get LOST, I follow the crowd and make it to C-level.
HOW BIG CAN THIS SCHOOL BE?
Big enough.

Now, get in line, and have your IDs ready.
But wait, where's mine?
It's not in the pocket I put it in...
Step out of line, try not to hyperventilate...
But I found it, I'm okay, and let's step back in line, in the back of the line, and file in.

Seat 26?
I like that number.
My first lucky one.
The perfect age, I hope...
But it's okay.

Hand out the texts, don't open anything, keep your purse and calculator under your chair unless you're working on a math section.
Please be math so I can get you out of the way.
Please turn to page one.
You have twenty-five minutes to complete the essay...
NO!!
I hate writing.
I can't do it.
I'm not going to do it.
I have to do it.
Where do I start?
Don't cry.
No, stop, please...
It's just a little essay.
You write fiction all the time, how hard can fact be? Especially when it's your own opinion, right?
Right...
Breathe in, breathe out...
Waste five minutes of time...
Then commence writing kick-ass essay on if there are good things that come of seeing our heroes fail.

Five minute break?
Food?
I brought some...
But I can't eat...
But I can't sit in this desk, either, I'm freaking out, and I'm not really sure why.
Back to the room, sit back down...

No, there aren't any calculators to give out, but don't worry because you actually don't need one for any of the math questions.
Seriously?
Okay, so let's put the calculator down and try it...
Hey, this is easy!
I LOVE MATH!!
Wait, what am I saying?
But it is easy...

More breaks...
More tests...
I'm hungry.
I'm thirsty.
I need to use the restroom.
But FOCUS, you need to do great on this or you'll be stuck at home forever!
I don't want to be stuck at home.
More tests...

Congratulations, you've just finished the SAT.

Now...how do I get out of here?