Purple has made the list...

But enough about me and my awful shopping habits...
(Though I gotta admit, my new shoes absolutely kick ass)

So, I went to church tonight (or last night, I suppose) for our 'Faithweaver Friends' night --for those who don't know, I'm leader of Circle 5, which has SIX kids, though only five showed tonight, ranging from first grade to sixth, and it's been almost two months...exactly...since I saw them.
Oh, ouch.

Today is the two-month anniversary of our breakup.
Well, okay, maybe not.
It's the fifth, I keep forgetting it's morning, technically...

Back to what I was saying...

So I went to church, and the kids were happy to see me, I hugged the girls --the boys just smiled, but kept their distance-- and we had a lot of fun, and I had Swedish Fish for the VERY FIRST TIME during snacktime...who knew that something sounding so strange could taste so good? Though the whole getting stuck to my teeth thing was kind of annoying, but candy is candy is candy so I don't mind (I've been cutting back on that, and it's annoying not having sugar, I think I'm going through withdrawal...and maybe that explains my mood!)
But, well, so it was awesome, and all and I loved seeing people again, and I focused really hard and I only lost track once (I think) and I was so happy...

And then I texted a friend who was maybe coming over, but he's been working too hard and he needs sleep, so we decided for another time...
And I'm all for sleep, so I don't mind.

But as I sat down in my room, trying to decide what to do with myself, I realized something...
(I wish I'd realized I forgot to do laundry like I just did now!!)
But, whatever, I realized that I was lonely.

I have my friends, but they're in these categories...
1. I'm a full-time student, and so I don't have time to come home, let alone hang out at a moment's notice.
2. I have to work all the time and I can't get off work easily, so I'm afraid we'll have to hang out another time.
3. I work with you and I'll be friendly to you, but don't expect to see me outside of work.
4. I go to church with you and I'll be friendly to you, but don't expect to see me outside of church.
(This second one, I don't know if it's actually my fault or theirs, cuz they really are nice people_
5. I met you through your ex (either one) and since you're not with him, there's not as much incentive to see you.
6. None of the above apply, but I'm too busy anyway.
At least that's what it feels like.

And it brought up an interesting thought...
The best part of breaking up: Getting my free-time back.
The worst part of breaking up: Getting my free-time back.
Because even though I have it, there's nothing to do, no one to do nothing with, and I'm on the verge of cracking!!!

I still dread sleep, though my dreams aren't as messed up as they have been...

"Here It Goes Again" by OK Go

'Just when you think you're in control,
just when you think you've got a hold,
just when you get on a roll,
Oh here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again...'

And that's how I feel right now...