I Do It to Myself...

So, in a few days, I'll 'celebrate' the one-month anniversary of my being single.
Stupid, and I know Mom says I really need to stop keeping track of dates, cuz that's what really hurts me...Did you know that February officially sucks because of dates? But, well, I can't seem to stop, and so if I happen to look at a calendar, or be in one of those strange phases where I'm actually keeping track of the date, I'll be depressed for at least half the day before I slap myself and snap out of it. I don't know why I do it, maybe I like being miserable, but I don't, really, so why...?
I have this playlist on my MySpace, this new thing where you can put ten of your favorite songs on your profile page, not that anyone would actually be on your page long enough to listen to it all, but it's the thought that counts, right? Anyway, so initially, it was just these fun songs I'd been hearing on the radio lately, or something my sister introduced me to, whatever, and it was pretty cool. But the other day I started thinking about this song, it's called 'Suga, Suga' by Baby Bash, it's actually a sort of hip-hop/R&B/rap -type song, which I normally don't like, but I listened to it one time with James, and he came up behind me, put his arms around me, started swaying me back and forth, and sang softly in my ear...well, it's the only time I found myself liking that song, and I haven't listened to it since, but I looked it up and decided to put it on my playlist. Shortly after, I added "Destination Calabria" with Alex Guadino and Crystal Waters, a song that's a blast to listen to, and the music video is a little more flirtatious than maybe it should be, but it's great and we must have had that song on in his truck at least 75% of the time, if not more. Then I looked up "Fever for the Flava" by Hot Action Cop, a totally crude rude and unacceptable song that I somehow found myself liking...even as I was disgusted by the music video...probably because he introduced me to it, idk...I stopped myself from adding any more songs that I related to him, only because I realized that the other songs, even if we'd never heard them together, somehow reminded me of him anyway.
I also found myself going on his Facebook profile today, as we are still friends on that, even though we haven't talked in a month...
How do you spell PATHETIC??

It's okay, though...
I've got a new favorite song, which, yeah, brings him up, but it's good...

"Fine" by Jaymes Reunion

'You never really loved until you watch it fall apart
And you never really lived until you felt like you can die
And you never really stood until the weight has pushed you over
Your pickin up the pieces just to find
Your doin just fine'

Really, I am.