And somehow we got on the subject of boys, and it occurred to me...
James and Bryant used the same excuse.
Not in so many words.
"I want to be a priest" vs. "I think we're going in different directions."
No, it was that they're not ready for what I want, and they both said they don't want me to have to wait for them, or to settle for them, or whatever...
And that just makes me mad.
Because now I wonder...
Do they really feel that way, and they want what's best for me?
Or is that just a patented line boys use to make girls feel better?
It doesn't work, for the record.
And now that I'm thinking about it, I feel just plain awful.
And I know, I know God's got great plans for me, plans to sustain me and whatever, I know, I know, I KNOW!
But even though I'm learning to be patient (I'm not quite there yet) for future, the past still hurts.
I can only learn from it.
But what I'm learning doesn't bode well for the future...
Release me, please...
I don't want to cry myself to sleep again...
Especially when I'm not alone in bed and I don't know how heavy of a sleeper Kiki is.
Life doesn't suck.
But it sure feels like it right now...
I'm probably just tired.
Good night, my patient audience...
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